Thursday, 29 November 2012

Quantity not Quality

The third part of the Creative Sandbox Course was to about Quantity not Quality.  It was about learning to let go of control and perfection and make mistakes and learn from them.  Professional Photographers often take hundreds of pictures before they find the magic one.

Here is one of the many I took in the fifteen minutes set for the task I was taking a picture of the sedums when Poppy stuck her head into the frame . She is looking at a bird on the trellis probably a blue tit.

It isn't perfection but it captures the curiosity of Poppy and the vibrancy of the sedums. Not worrying about the quality, not trying seek out the interesting, beautiful photo opportunity meant I captured some lovely moments with Pops in the garden.  I was hoping to capture birds but Poppy was the only subject that was there.  The birds had obviously been early to the feeders.

My Gremlins tried a new tactic to put me off exposing myself to the web by saying
"That wall needs painting you cannot take a photo there"
"Ohhh look at the mud on that path that looks awful" 
"Those are weeds, pull them out quick." 
As I snapped pictures the gremlins were making me feel that me garden was a mess, that I was showing my self up by taking photos there.

 I did  stopped taking photos for quite a long  while after a friend lost my camera. The new one he brought to replace it was smaller, had no view finder, I felt I couldn't see what I was photographing blah blah. What was holding my pack from taking photographs was not my camera but the unexpressed resentment that a friend had carelessly lost my original camera.   He seems to feel was no great deal.  He bought a new camera for me but did not let me choose it.  He just gave it to me.  I pretended to be delighted but really I was angry about the lose of my camera.   I did tell you yesterday my gremlins are male.   It wasn't until my  friend Jenny took pictures with it and they were good snaps that I started to use it..

I kicked the gremlins out of the garden and  I learnt to day that my gremlins are holding my back from being creative and I need to play in the sand box some more and make sure those gremlins aren't buried inside the sand ready to jump out to discourage me and keep me safe in my comfort zone.

I hope to go out for a walk with my muse Poppy and take many more photographs

Melissa Dinwiddle  talks about the joy a child has in creativity and says:

If you're worried that mucking around like a 4-year-old, not focusing on the outcome, means you'll never master your craft, let me assure you, as long as you aren’t being sloppy, if you take care of the quantity, the quality will take care of itself.

With Reiki Blessing

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Creative Joy

The second task in the Creative Sandbox course tutored by  Melissa Dinwiddle is:

all about letting your 4-year-old out, and 4-year-olds are much more interested in the
experience of creating than in what they make.
It was all about returning to the Joy of creating without worrying about the outcome.  I went into my meditation room, where the cats were asleep on the cushions.  I put my gremlins outside the door and  found a sketchbook and my pastels.  The instructions for the task were to make an ugly picture using colours with colours I did not fifteen minutes    I settled  comfortably in a my chair and  I started.

 I looked up at the clock thinking the time must be up but barely five minutes had passed.  One of the gremlins had sneaked in.  Out he went - yes my gremlins are all male. I stayed put and continued making shapes with the pastels I like the feel of using them and the way different pressures made differing shades.  I used the ends, the sides.  I drew in circles, blocks and  points.Time was up the floor was littered with pages from the sketch book and I felt relaxed and happy.  My hands were covered in the dust of the colours I had used.  I left smudges on the table room but Hey!. 


I meet the gremlins at the door  one said:
 Oh dear not very good! 
another said: 
 You aren't going to put the picture on the web are you?  Tut Tut
They all chorused
No bin it, it is rubbish.  Don't show yourself up!
 But I pushed past them and took my camera and took pictures of my ugly pictures and I posted it on the web and it is OK.The task was about the experience of creating the outcome did not matter but in fact I feel good about the outcome.

think sand castles, which will be washed away at the next high tide. Let yourself get your hands dirty (literally and/or metaphorically) and simply enjoy the work itself.

The pictures are on my desk and I will find a way  to return to the joy of creativity  again and again.

Wish you Reiki blessing
and Joy in Creativity 
Merry B

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

"If I were totally free to play, I..

Poppy going on an adventure
Oh dear I do not know what to write.  "If I were totally free to play" what would I do?  Play is fun but do I have fun?  I enjoy things, I am content but I rarely play.  Play -  that magic world were my  imagination and creativity takes me into new spaces and expresses a side of my that is tidied a way now that I am grown up.

Have I forgotten how  to play to let my imagination soar high and I feel the fun of just doodling playing with words, splashing paint and feeling the experience with out expecting an outcome. Do I go paddling in the sea, crunching through the autumn leaves? Build a snowman?  I used to at least I think I have done those things once upon a time.

Hey I do not bounce with joy, my dog bounces with joy as soon as I fetch her lead she bounces up and down runs up the stairs and flings herself at the front door.  I love her bounce but hear those voices saying,.

 "You should be the Leader of the Pack ."
Poppy should sit quietly before you open the door, and then she should quietly walks along side you."

My Poppy sits quietly for a moment then bounds out of the door on this adventure called a walk, what smells, what things to sniff, see, what to at bark?  Will she see a cat a pigeon meet a friends the possibilities are endless. 

I have lost my sense of play, my sense of adventure. I had it once, at least I think I can remember.  I want to play and I just do not know how.  Now this minute I will go up stairs and get my pastels and glitter, glue, paper and just doodle and draw and smudge, and glue feathers, leaves, tissue shapes on this huge piece of paper.  Play, be creative and use my imagination.  But Hey  I have to go up stairs and find all that stuff, and  it will make a mess, which I will have to clear up.........I have got to.......

Wow this playing is hard.  I will get Pops lead and  perhaps she can show me how to bounce and play.

With Reiki Light
Hope I find out how to play soon!

Saturday, 24 November 2012

Stormy Times

Today an Autumn storm is sending heavy rain lashing against my window.  Leaves from the beech trees outside are scooped up and swirl around in a frenzy and then the wind eases and  the leaves drift back to the ground one by one.

Like everyone there are times  in my life I feel as if I am caught up in whirlwind emotionally, and spiralling into  physical exhaustion.Times when my mind swirls with thoughts anxieties and fear in the storm of  present circumstances  Times in which I seem to have lost my footing and I am  being tossed about helplessly back and forward without a will, like a leaf blown here and there in the wind.  I cannot think  and cannot breathe.

Then I strive to catch my breathe and pause and slowly by focusing on one in breath and then one out breath  once, twice or as many times as it takes, until  there is a lull in the storm of emotion.  I hold  myself still and breathe in and out, my breath deepens as I breathe in and slowly breathe out..  I again I focus on the  in breath and  sense of calm envelopes me, the out breath brings ease.  I relax and smile as a sense of well being flows through me.  I stand quietly and the flurry of thoughts diminish and drift away.  I am drawn back into the peaceful  centre of my nature. Like the leaves that flutter softly back to earth after the wind has ceased, . I may have  to begin again and then yet once more before  I have brought peace and equilibrium  back into my heart space.

Mindfulness meditation allows me the space to find my peaceful  centre.   I can face the circumstances that the storm of life is bringing me by being in here and now. I am  not looking back or dreaming about or fearing  the future.  I am no longer full or recriminations, fear, hopelessness or anger.  I can see  through the storm  the dawn of  light and the healing rays of Reiki 

With Reiki Golden Light

I saw this quote and comment written by Jean Claude on Cowbird today

 "The heart of man is very much like the sea, it has its storms, it has its tides and in its depths it has its pearls too."

Vincent Van Gogh, in a letter to his beloved brother Theo 

Jean Claude writes:on Cowbird

As we know now Vincent's heart knew mostly storms. He never found out how much light he brought, brings to the crumpled hearts of others. The pearls, that his work was, are shining forth.