Inner light and broken lives

The Quakers believe that every person has an inner light,

and that light is a spark of God.

Throughout my life I have worked with children, teenagers and adults who have broken lives. Some of the children I have worked with have hauled themselves up from the fringes of society and made a success of their lives.



The majority of these children lived in substandard housing, often in the private sector. If a house is damp it feels chilly all the time. Even newly painted walls will soon grow the black mould with its characteristic unpleasant smell.  The mould can be very harmful to young children’s lungs and clothes hanging in a musty or damp room smell, not the fragrance of clothes conditioner put the unpleasant smell of poverty. In school some children can smell the scent of poverty on these underclass children. Many move away but some taunt them and bully them for their poverty. 

Another problem for many  of these children is that their school dinner could be the first food they ate in the day and frequently the last meal of the day. School holidays were dreaded by them as they look forward to more  days when hunger would grip them. .

One of the children I worked with was Lucy a lovely, intelligent girl, her mum

managed the families money well and made their home lovely, though they were extremely poor and lived in sub-standard housing .The furniture was second-hand, her mum shopped in charity shops for herself but bought new clothes for Lucy at New Look. Lucy was bullied by girls for having clothes from that shop.  Lucy defended herself by telling the girls that her mum only bought what she could pay for and would not get into debt.  Many of these girls were standing in "designer" clothes bought from a  catalogue, for which the mothers often struggled to pay even minimum amount due each week.   Style was bought for the price of unmanageable debt. 

Lucy's life was broken by awful tragedy but she was a girl who hauled herself up from the fringes of Society into a better life.. She had support of a strong and caring mother.

There were many children, teenager and adults I have worked with that couldn't escape from the underclass. For several years I  worked off site, in London sometimes with one person, often with a whole year group from the Upper Exclusion School. I saw it as  my role to create a safe haven for them  . It was hard work but the attendance was above average. I taught IT and Media and made sure the majority of the children had certificates for each subject at Entry Level as well as English and  for the majority  also GCSE level Media and IT This was achieved through a team effort with the wonderful talented  support staff.

 

Amongst the children there were some that put up barriers to prevent anyone from glimpsing any part of their inner world. Others were more open and I could see the goodness within them. A few of these children were murdered or took their own lives. I have also  taught those  who as teenagers or adults have been convicted of murder.

 One of these was Greg, the child of a woman who was both a heroin addict and a dealer,  She would leave Greg in dirty nappies as this was where she hid the drugs. He had experienced vile brutality and was very violent himself at times. Eventual leading to exclusion from the Exclusion School.  The one exception, was because of his good behaviour in the outreach centre, he was allowed to come into the IT classes at the community centre and write. His poetry was powerful and evocative.

After Greg had left school he used to come back to see us at the Centre, he held down a good job with a construction firm for a while. Then the day came when he arrived and told us he had killed someone. He wanted me to be with him when the police came for him. He phoned the police and we sat and waited until they arrived. The police arrived in force, expecting from Greg's reputation, for him to be an extremely violent person. One of the  Community staff went outside to see the police and ask for only two officers to come into the  centre. Greg went with them calmly and with dignity. I  hold and I am a witnesses  the sparks of goodness and light within Greg

My last blog was about my friend, Dave, who has now been charged with the brutal murder and dismemberment of David Guy. I am so sad that this has happened, I have enormous compassion for David's family and friends. I am appalled that Dave is being charged with this awful crime  However, I will always hold and be a witness to his kindness and his inner light the contrasting aspect of him from the recent  dreadful fatal violence he may have committed..

  

With Reiki Blessings to all

MerryB

Dave - my friiend.

Dave is, I believe, under arrest for the brutal killing of his friend.and disposal of his dismembered body in the sea.  The upper torso of the body was found last week on the beach.   He is in custody now for another 32 hours.  He is  a friend from the allotments.

When I first got my overgrown plot Dave helped put up my shed and dug over half the plot for me.  My dog Pops loves him and when ever we are at the allotment he always has time to cuddle her and play with her. Dave has been kind and friendly to me but I am aware that he has deep and dark moods.  He swings from happy and optimistic to angry, agitated moods.  His plot is somewhere where he can recover be close to nature, grow food and find peace.

Dave is one of the underclass of society he was left by his mother when a toddler and he lived with his father. When he talks about his dad it is always with affection but his father was a tough and sometimes brutal man.  From childhood Dave worked with his father as scrap  merchant. He had no schooling  as somehow he slipped out of the education system  His father's family had always been Totters.   In the 20th century the horse and cart had been exchanged for a battered lorry.  Dave still follows in this trade.  His shed on his plot is an Aldin's cave. 

I feel so sad that Dave is in this dreadful situation, however, what happened to the victim is horrendous and brutal.  I have asked myself could Dave have done this murder and disposed of the body in this way?  Yes in a dark mood fuelled with Alcohol, which is such an enemy to those with mental health problems. 

What ever is the outcome of the police investigation Dave will always be my friend and I am grateful for his kindness and help for me at the allotments.  He knows so much about nature and the wild animals and insects, how to look after trees, to grow good fruit and vegetables. 

Dave has a son he kept in contact with him despite the break up of his relationship with the boy's mother.  His son is serving in the army in Afghanistan.

The allotment is buzzing with Dave's arrest and the searching of his plot.  I just feel sad.

I am sending Reiki to Dave, to the victim of this awful crime and his family and to Dave's son

With Reiki blessings

MerryB.

Lucy a Mistake?

My thoughts keep returning to the news story of a young Chinese woman in Shaanxi Province who was forcibly taken to hospital to abort her second child. Feng Jianmei was held down by four people as she was given an injection to bring on the abortion of her 7 month unborn baby, the labour  took 36 hours.  Minutes after the abortion, a family member posted on the internet a photograph of  her aborted second daughter, clearly perfectly formed at seven months, lying next to her on a hospital bed. The image went viral.

The images that accompanied this story were poignant and invoked my compassion and respect and admiration for Feng Jianmei's courage in refusing to crawl away out of sight to live with her memories of her lose and her terrible ordeal.  The first picture was heartrending, this was followed by a picture of  her first daughter lying beside her in hospital,  A place her mother must have felt to be very unsafe after the violence done to her and her baby.    A place were anger fear and outrage were ripple throughi its wards and corridors as three officials have been suspended for the illegal act of violence against a mother and her unborn child that China's one child policy engenders. 

My  friend Lucy, whose Chinese name means Mistake, was a second child.  Her family suffered financially and socially because of her birth.  She said that her mother hid her pregnancy until she was past six months after this date in China it is illegal to abort a child.  Her mother was beaten and kicked by a woman from the Family Planning Unit when it was found out that her mother was having a second child.  This attack may have been an attempt to force an abortion.

As a result of Lucy's birth her father lost his job and the family were ostracized and sank into poverty.  Elders of the family kept them from starving but strongly disapproved of her parents. It was these elders who named the baby Mistake.  Once Lucy was old enough she was dispatched to England and told she would not be welcomed back into the family.

The  activist lawyer Chen Guangcheng was sent to prison last year for exposing what he says were over-zealous health workers in Linyi City, Shandong Province.  He says they illegally forced women to have late-term abortions and be sterilised. 

Feng Jianmei's story has reached the world via  the courage of a relation  posting the picture on the Internet.  The family must have realised  they would be in serious trouble with the authorities. Feng Jiammi's sister-in-law  and a lawyer have described how family members  have been followed, harassed and attacked  as traitors for speaking to foreign media. The person who posted the picture Feng Jiammei and her still born child has been severely beaten and is in hiding. Was this act of courage inspired by Chen Guangcheng stand against sanctioned violence against pregnant women who already had one child? 

The Shaanxi Province had failed to achieve its target of enforcing the One Child Policy for two consecutive years and the authorities were acting more strenuously to achieve a 95% one child birth per family..This weekend  outside  the hospital  were Feng is still a patient protesters  against the family shouted and  held a banner reading:

 "Beat the traitors and expel them". 



After his arrival in the United States, Chen Guangcheng  said he hoped,

 "Everybody works with me to promote justice and fairness in China".  "We should link our arms to continue in the fight for the goodness in the world and to fight against injustice,"

China does not intend to change its One Child Policy. 

Reiki’s healing light for “goodness in the world” and gratitude for those who have the courage to fight against  injustice whatever the cost to themselves and those they love.

Reiki healing and love to Feng Jianmei and her beautiful first daughter, her second daughter now in transition, their father and family. And to all women who have been forced to have an abortion.

With Reiki Blessings

Merryb

I have seen the picture of Feng and her dead daughter and it was a terrible heartbreaking sight which made me weep for her and all the women who have been so violently treated so officials can meet the local one child per family target. It was important to me to be a witness to this event. 

Reiki wisdom to the Chinese Government and its officials



Glorious Evensong - Meditation

Instructions for living life.

Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver lives by these instructions; this wonderful American Poet has a great wisdom and skill at capturing the present moment wonderful moment.

If during the day we can focus our attention on the present moment, however briefly, we can gain tranquillity and the strength to face the turmoil of modern living. and often there is a beautiful gift waiting for us.

I want to tell you how on one of the few fine sunny days in June as I was walking home I heard the outpouring of two blackbirds singing from chimney tops. .I was astonished how loudly their song carried over all the noise of urban streets I had to stand and listened. These small beings were filling the streets with song. As I stood and I scanned the roof tops to see the birds who were serenading the setting sun.

While I looked and listened several people passed with heads down and had head phones in their ears. Most people passed by me with averted gaze as if to blank out my existence. They were unaware that on the roof top these beautiful birds were filling the air with nature’s glorious evensong.

The blackbirds were giving a wonderful gift to all those who were paying attention. .I am grateful to them and was inspired to tell you about this wonderful moment in my time.

By following Mary's instructions for living a life there will be many gifts waiting for you to treasure

With Reiki blessing

Merry Rambler

Posh Boys

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Prime Minster Cameron & Osborne Chancellor
Coalition Government

Thursday 3rd of May  was the local election day in Britain.  A third of the councillors  have to go to the Polls every year.


Since I have had the vote I have never missed voting in an election.  I feel that I owe a duty of respect to the generations that fought for the right to vote.  I also want a say in who represents me in Parliament, Europe and in the Local Council.


This year I found it hard to muster enthusiasm.   We have a Coalition Government made up of  The Conservatives and the Liberal Democratic, the cabinet is comprised of 21 millionaires and Multimillionaires -  Mainly Very Posh boys:


" who do not know the cost of a pint of milk or loaf of
bread!."


How can these people represent the ordinary people!


MPs are now drawn from professional politicians.  Many new MPs' career start as  political researcher, then advisor to  Party Leaders, and they then are put forward as preferred candidate to local parties in safe seats.  They have no knowledge of the the working world.


Anyway enough of that back toThursday.  It was a grey day with continuous chilly drizzle and biting winds.  I was cold and wet when I got indoor.  I did not feel like turning out again to vote but I had a shower washed and dried my hair put on dry clothes and set off to the polling station.  I walked there, it was still drizzling a cold miserable evening.  When I got there there was not one member of any party outside to greet people and take the poll cards  which traditional they have done and shared the information between the parties.  Each party armed with that information would then go out and knock up  their voters who had not turned and get them to the polling station.


Never in all my voting life had this happened before.  I was fuming and almost turned round and walked off.  The council seat was marginal but the parties had not mustered any one to do this essential work.  My ward has often been won with only 50 or a hundred votes between the parties!


I was incensed because I had bothered to turn out and the Parties' members had not.  I could not walk away however because  I have the right to vote while  people in Burma and other countries  have faced prison and torture for  demanding the right to vote!  I value  my freedom to cast my vote.


The number of people who voted was less than 30 percent. The majority of people no longer see how their vote will change anything. Such a sad indictment on our Politicians. 


The House of Commons Speaker John Bercow said:


" Voters feel let down by political parties because they are "suspicious or even despairing" about the political system."


I feel disillusioned.  I feel  the political parties are merging together into a elite grey mass that has no comprehension of the majority of peoples' lives and the hardship the current recession has caused to so many of us.

Got-cha

I was so tired when I came back from my plot yesterday.  I had hoed and cleared the Willow bed of brambles and weeds, sown, some flower seed and tied in the blackberries to the wires.  I was glad to tumble into bed at 11. o'clock.  I put on Radio Four Extra  and set the sleep button.  The next thing I know the cats are both standing on top of me demanding breakfast.  I felt as if I hadn't slept at all.  I slept through the alarm but the serial that starts at six am. was still playing on the radio.  I got up and stumbled down the stairs.  I felt exhausted. 


The day was rainy, gloomy and very,very overcast.  I put on the cat fish, made a cup of tea and went and sat on the settee. Next thing the smoke alarm was going off and I could smell the fish burning I jumped up rushed to switched off the saucepan and found the broom to turn off the smoke alarm.  I did manage to save some of the fish but got out the chicken and gave them a plate of that each as well. 


My kitchen clock had stopped at ten past two - The batteries were all up stairs so I went up to find them and there was my Radio alarm clock showing the time as 2.15 am.  Ray and Tids had woken me  and and I had heard the serial  being repeated at 1.00 am not six am.  I hadn't pressed the sleep button! I climbed back into bed and fell asleep.


I woke with a start Radio four Extra playing the serial but this time it was six o'clock in the morning and was time to get up.


Love you Tids and Ray yes Got-cha very clever.

With Reiki blessing to my beautiful cats and everyone

Merryb

Golden Jewels

I walked to the plot with Pops on the first fine morning after a week of torrential rain.  My thoughts were quite gloomy as I wondered how much damaged the Easterly gales and heavy rain had done to my fruit trees' blossom.  After greeting other plot holders, who had also emerged with the sunshine, I was relieved to find  that the trees were OK.  Some of the blossom looked bedraggled but it was still on the trees.


After settling Pops I opened my shed and was greeted by the sight of hundreds of tiny golden spiders abseiling down from the roof of my shed.  The sun was glinting on them catching them with light and it seemed as if I was being showered with minute jewels  I stood still and stared in awe at these tiny being as they float past on gossamer threads.  Some paused on my coat before the began again the descent to the ground.


In a few minutes these tiny creatures had disappeared as if they had never been.  I felt so blessed and refreshed to have been present at a perfect moment, a wonderful moment of life's magic new beginnings.






I forgot to reach for my camera as I was so absorbed in the present moment so the picture is a gif.

With Reiki blessings

Merryb